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#3 Paradigms & Mindsets: The Unspoken Force Behind Our Experiences

Season #1 Episode #3

 

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Warning: Without listening to and internalizing today’s podcast, all the amazing help the other episodes will give us will be for naught. Why? Because to truly grow into a better leader, spouse, parent, family member, or friend, we have to pull back the curtains on how we engage with the world and realize that “we ain’t all that plus a bag of chips.” If we don’t start with understanding ourselves and how we how see the world and think about the experiences we have then we will continue to trick ourselves into believing that the world revolves around us and our point of view.

Summary: How we see the world (our paradigm) and how we think about it (our mindset) has everything to do with how we experience life…and yours? Well, yours just might be getting in your way from finding joy and contentment at work and at home. 

Our paradigm is the way we “see” the world, or our frame of reference for how we interpret situations, people, and the world in general. Depending on how our paradigms are "tilted" or the assumptions we have been conditioned to, we can all have very different paradigms for how we see the world and the people in it.

Mindset is the way your mind is set to think about things.  Somewhere along the way our thinking led us to a story, and that story has caused deep ruts in our roads of thinking. And the thing is, we’ve been listening to stories and telling ourselves stories our whole lives. We become stuck in how we think about ourselves or the world around us; which in turn affects how we think about many other things we experience. There are four popular "settings" for mindset: 

  • Fixed vs Growth (Reference Carol Dweck, P.h.D)
  • Scarcity vs Abundance (Reference Stephen R. Covey)

 

 Application

You can't change other people so all positive change must start with you and you alone. Focus on self awareness so you come to understand how the obstacles you are currently facing affects your overall motivations, beliefs, thoughts, communication, and actions in overcoming those obstacles.  The more you recognize and reflect on your "seeing and thinking" habits and the stories you tell yourself, you can become more able to slow your thinking and adjust the settings.

When it comes to paradigm and building assumptions, you need to always be looking for clarity by seeking to understand the other person’s point of view.  You must understand that your paradigm is not always right. Now when it comes to mindset, you need to slow your thinking, stop the spiral of thoughts, and adjust your settings. You can in fact turn the mindset dial to that of growth and abundance. 

References: 

  • Covey, S. R. (1989). The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the character ethic. New York: Simon and Schuster.
  • Klein, Gary (May 1, 2016). Mindsets: What They Are and Why They Matter. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/seeing-what-others-dont/201605/mindsets
  • Dweck, Carol (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York: Random House.
  • Soul Sisters Memorial Foundation Facebook Post on January 30, 2022 at 9:31 am "When you finally learn that a person's behavior has more to do with their internal struggle than it ever did with you, you learn grace. (Vintage Vivids)
  • The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james+1%3A2-4&version=ESV