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#16 Identity: You are NOT who you think you are...

Season #1 Episode #16


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In this episode we begin our journey of building our life and leadership on the 8 Essential Rocks by learning about Essential Rock #1 - the Essential Rock of Identity.

The reason identity is Essential Rock #1 is because it is the foundation for each person and how they engage with themselves internally and how they engage with the world externally. Upon its foundation develops the set of characteristics, traits, beliefs, and actions of a person. 

One’s Identity of self will always be created and played out regardless of whether or not you want it to. One’s struggle with identity will showcase itself in the 5 domains of impact: that is the self, our relationships, the cultures in which we belong, our work organization, and our community.

Unfortunately, the problem is that so many people, and yes even leaders, still to this day have an identity crisis problem. We have adults in professional positions and even leaders within organizations that are still that junior high and high school kid on the inside who have no clue who they are. They can’t spell out what they believe and they for dang sure can’t  take the risks needed to find out what they’re made of. 

Here’s the truth of what I believe…unless you come to terms with your insecurities and truly define your identity, the worst characteristics spawned from those insecurities will manifest and showcase themselves in the ugliest ways in your adult life.

Why? Because the stress and anxiety that comes from constantly posing as something you don’t feel like you are will eventually break you, and it will eventually affect every relationship you have at home and at work. 

To be essential leaders who build their life and leadership above the sand elements, you must be intentional in putting in the reflective work to ask these four questions: 

  1. Who do I believe I am?
  2. Who do I want to become?
  3. Do I have what it takes to become who I’ve longed to be? 
  4. What roles do I play in building other people’s identities? 

And you need to take action with each question by doing these four things: 

  1. Overcome the past stories, pressures, and traumas that told you who you were
  2. Define the gap between who you are now and who/where you want to be.
  3. Focus on progress over perfection
  4. Get to the Point where you focus on altruism - serving others along their transformation journey to discovering who they are.  


  • Miller, Donald. (2017). Building a Story Brand. US: HarperCollins Leadership
  • The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.